In Pursuit of Happiness

Caught in the tentacles of âall-pervasive connectivity,â human lives have become a tangled mess. But there are ways to transcend all such trappings and find genuine bliss, say happiness experts.
By Renjith Leen
Tucked away in the bosom of the mighty Himalayas lies a tiny enclave of peace and happiness. Yes, you guessed right. It is Bhutan. Though dubbed the Land of the Thunder Dragon, this tiny nation boasts no martial qualities. On the contrary, it is a little slice of the mythical Shangri-La, having one the most peace-loving and cheerful folks on the planet. Little wonder it surpasses many a mighty nation to rank high in the global happiness index.
There have been studies galore about what makes Bhutan a nation of bubbly, cheerful people. Studies say this country is still pretty much unaffected by the mad craze for technology and gizmos and the all-pervasive connectivity. At a time when connectivity is the buzzword elsewhere, the Bhutan phenomenon drives home an important point.
With the ever-growing wireless connectivity dominating lives and linking it with practically everythingâfrom homes and cars to gadgets and health devicesâthe quest to stay connected is growing exponentially, but at a cost. Experts say it is robbing one of genuine happiness and the sense of fulfillment, giving hypertension and depression a free run. This can have disastrous consequences.
But then donât people experience âhappinessâ when they have achievements, receive gifts, buy a new house or swanky vehicle, go on vacation and connect with friends and family? Many tend to equate that fleeting sense of euphoria with genuine bliss. On the other hand, world-renowned happiness evangelists like Gretchen Rubin thinks otherwise. In an interview to CNN some time ago, the author of the best seller The Happiness Project said, one can only realize true and lasting happiness by âbuilding a blissful life on the foundation of oneâs own nature. You have to know what makes you happy.â Of course, you neednât sell your Ferrari for that. All you need is to look within and identify your true self.
âIF YOUâRE TRYING TO CHANGE A HABIT, LIKE YOUâRE TRYING TO EXERCISE MORE, ITâS REALLY HELPFUL TO KNOW ONEâS TENDENCIES. BECAUSE THEN YOU KNOW WHAT BUTTON TO PUSH.â

In other words, this means taking the eudaimonic approach towards life rather than the hedonistic one, focusing on authentic living for the greater good. Says life coach and happiness guru Dr Saloni Singh: âOnce we start realising our âinner selfâ needs to find harmony with others as well as life, it is the beginning of true happiness. We should stop chasing happiness outside and start cultivating it within. It is âyouâ who brings happiness and joy into things, not the other way round.â
But then, the million-dollar question is how can one attain genuine happiness? One of the most profound observers of human nature, Rubin advocates a ârevolutionary formulaâ, which says one should âfeel good, feel bad and feel right in an atmosphere of growthâ. âTo feel happy, itâs not enough to have fun with your friends, and not feel guilty about yelling all the time, and feel like youâre working in the right job; you also need to feel growthâa sense of learning, of betterment, of advancement, of contributing to the growth of others,â she says.
Named one of the â22 brilliant thinkers one should follow on Twitterâ and one of the â100 most influential people in health and fitnessâ by Business Insider, Gretchen waxes eloquent on the âFour Tendenciesâ framework to help each person develop habitforming strategies to transcend clutter and escape the siren song of âconnectivityâ to find happiness in everyday life-be it at home or the workplace.
The âFour Tendenciesâ are loosely based on how one reacts to outer as well as inner expectations.
With the ever-growing wireless connectivity dominating lives and linking it with practically everythingâfrom homes and cars to gadgets and health devicesâthe quest to stay connected is growing exponentially, but at a cost.
Upholders: They never allow let themselves or anyone else down and they meet inner and outer expectations. They form habits with relative ease, compared to others.
Questioners: People in this category meet only inner expectations, questioning everything. They would like to do something only if it makes sense, knocking out everything that is arbitrary. In the words of Gretchen, questioners âresist rules for rulesâ sakeâ.
Obligers: They meet outer expectations more than inner ones. They tend to stick to things that need external accountability.
Rebels: They fight against inner and outer expectations, prioritising self-determination.
According to Gretchen, most individuals fall into the âobligerâ category. She says once an individual figures out which tendency best describes him, the correct habit-forming strategies can be chalked out to bring positive transformation. Once youâve figured out which tendency best describes you, you can pinpoint habit-forming strategies that will work for you. âIf youâre trying to change a habit, like youâre trying to exercise more, itâs really helpful to know their tendencies. Because then you know what button to push,â she says.